I recently had the pleasure and honor of being in an intentionally inclusive space. The culture was consistently demonstrated through the words of actions of volunteers. Participants were lovingly educated about the group's values before and during the event. In the words of my mother, "the whole world should be like that." Right? Why is it so complicated to just be kind, welcoming, and understanding toward each other.

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Yet, apparently it is. One person at the event consistently demonstrated disrespect toward other people and then made an ungraceful exit after declaring that it was not the right space for her. I appreciate that she recognized she did not belong in this space, and respect her values and beliefs that contributed to this realization. But that does not give her, or anyone else, license to be degrading toward other people.

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I've been reflecting a lot about this event and my experiences there, leading to the thoughts below about how to deal with the discomfort of culture shock. I will keep these in mind when I enter a culture that is uncomfortable to me, as I often do - and so many of us do in these divided times.

• Respect the full humanity of other people and believe and honor what they tell you about themselves

• Sit with the discomfort and allow it to move something within you

• Ask questions from a place of curiosity

• It is easy to demonstrate lovingkindness toward others, even if you don't fully understand them

• If you feel physically or emotionally unsafe, it's OK to leave

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